A Sausage Dilemma

Since losing Mamoru as he heads back to his homeland, I have reflected on meeting this individual and all the things I remember about him. His strange moustache; the gauze hunting vest he would wear every day over the top of a range of ripped off football shirts; his ever-present penchant for beef.

What goes on in that man’s mind is a mystery, probably even to him. One day I decided to give the class a load of pictures that have different names in British English vs Australian English (e.g. plug socket vs power point, plaster vs Band Aid, and most famously flip flop vs thong). Everyone was struggling with this a bit. However, it wasn’t until I looked at Mamoru’s page that I realised how far off people were.

Next to a picture of some sausages (a.k.a ‘snags’), he’d written ‘Gerry’. I asked him why. He explained that that sausages were originally from Germany and ‘Gerry’ was a slang word for a German. You can’t fault the logic – apart from that it was what veterans of WWII referred to Nazis as. Thankfully there were no Germans in the class at the time… mind you, they probably wouldn't have minded.

I now refer to sausages as ‘Gerries’ and recommend it becomes part of the English vernacular.

Mamogeddon (11/2/12 - 14/2/12)

A tear is shed as we come to the final three entries of the Mamoru Diary. He has a farewell party in or near Hyde Park – I can’t really tell. He eats yet more meat and – his final goal complete – eats an entire sheep! It seems that he polished off the meal with a “small block slice of meat”. Sounds delicious.

Finally, his swan song comes. And what a belter! First, emotion catches hold and causes some very unusual trouble with spelling days of the week. He then lapses momentarily into Yoda speak – though I’ve always had suspicions that he is really a Jedi master. He ends with a romping description of Australia that outstrips ‘Where the bloody hell are ya?’ by a mile. Read on. Savour. Enjoy.

11th Feb 2012

I have to say final parting, good bye’s greetings.

I went to meet to some friends on near Hide Park. I said, good bye and thank you very much.

Everybody is good guys.

12th Feb 2012

I ate beefsteak last week.

I ate a lamb today.

I have not eaten sheep steak. We can eat sheep. Of course Japan is buying mutton lamb from Australia.

I ate small block, slice of meat.

I haven’t ever eaten sheep steak.

14 Feb 2012

Wense Wendneday Thouseday, Friday, Sutrday. Just 4 days I have.

I enjoyed enough Sydney.

It is flat town and greenful. Walthy country.

Natural resources, foods, nice view. Malti culture. Very thing wonderful.

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Thank you, Mamoru. Your diary was very entertaining. It was very kind of you to share it. I hope you have a great life back in Japan and rock that sushi restaurant you work at.

Mamoru and his dislike of despots. (7/2/12 – 10/2/12)

Just like the North Koreans, Iran is in Mamoru’s sights and he’s not happy with what he sees. Another topic we can refer back to the annuls to is those lazy sods at Darlington Barracks. It was in December that Mamoru tried to go there and failed due to an enormous staff Christmas holiday. Personally, I wonder why Mamoru is so interested in the barracks. Could he be a spy? Hmm.

By the way, is it bad I thought it was in bad taste when the guide/veteran told Mamoru he’d been to Japan many times?

And lastly, Mamoru shows his commitment and tenacity to his studies that he was given a presentation task to do. Although he was due to leave before the assessment was given, Mamoru did do the presentation. It was on family values in each student’s country and in his typically lateral way, Mamoru based his presentation on the Japanese royal family. It was interesting and thoroughly entertaining.

7th Feb 2012

Iran is making a nuclear weapon. Western nations will stop to import of oil from Iran, also Iran starts embargo to Europe. Iran is received big damage and Iran can’t use US dollar and banks.

Perhaps it starts revolution movement in Iran.

9th Feb 2012

I did skip a school.

I went to a Victorian Barack at Darlington.

I saw the Barack’s bildings and everywhere in camp. I was lectured from a veteran.

He has visited to Japan many times. He knew Japan. He was wonderful guide.

10th Feb 2012

I have to do a task, presentation. I finish on 17th Feb.

I don’t have a due obligation. I thought, however, I have to do it.

“Next week, I will eat a lamb. Sheep meat.” (3/2/12 – 6/2/12)

On one of his meanderings, Mamoru decides to head to Hyde Park for a laugh. He seems to enjoy himself. However, he finally has something that really makes his ticker kick: Aussie beef! I’m very pleased – though the taste of meat seems to put a fire in ol’ Mamoru’s belly. His next challenge is to eat a whole lamb. Good luck with that, Mamoru.

He ends this set of three with a good news/bad news tale. Unfortunately he still can’t find a model train made in Australia, but he does discover an old model made in East Germany, before the Berlin Wall fell. Is he lukey? I think so!

3th Feb 2012

I went to Hide Park.

I was walking around the park Elizabeth Street. Any street.

I don’t have any reason.

I’m going to back Japan on 18th so I don’t have time enough.

I just walked in Park.

4th Feb 2012

I went to the pub for have lunch. I ate beef staek, Aussie beef. Cost was $15.

It was delicious, cheaper and comfortable place.

I had a great time.

Next week, I will eat a lamb. Sheep meat.

6th Feb

I have lived in Sydney for 8 months. I found any Lail model shops (Rolling stocks).

I looking for made in Australia. Australian made. I haven’t found it.

Almost all trains are made in China, but I fin found out Made in East Germany. It’s rare models. I got it.

Am I lukey?

Sangers and Screw-ups (29/1/12 – 1/2/12)

Back to his haiku best, Mamoru opens with a stunning ditty about how a Subway sandwich can instill and inspire a sudden lust for Australian beef and a quick peek at the South Pacific. I wonder if anyone told him Sydney’s coast is in fact the Tasman Sea?

Anyway, we also hear of a very expensive project of sending a painting he’d bought back home to Japan. The postage itself cost $20 more than he paid for the picture. Blasted Australia Post.

Finally, a rather curt entry of Mamoru lamenting his errors with ‘iar’ spelling and an object he clearly mistook for a toolbox. Not sure what that was… though if I remember correctly, it was the word ‘screwdriver’, which does go in a toolbox.

29th January

I ate Subway Sundwich.

A rest of days is around 20 days.

I want to eat Aussie beef again.

I want to go to Manly Beach again.

I want to see South Pacific Ocean in the clear sky.

30th January

I sent to Japan to bought a picture. It costed $60 paied to post office. The picture was $40. Totally $100.

Memory was too expensive. I hope it reaches to Japan exactly and parfect.

1th Feb 2012

Today’s course is too difficult.

I took a mistake ‘–iar–‘

I thought it was ‘toolbox’.

Mamo-loony (26/1/12 – 28/1/12)

Australia Day! Mamoru clearly sinks far too many Carlton Blacks whilst at a vintage car festival in the City on our national day. He doesn’t say so, but the following day’s entry is such complete bonkers, he must have still been really quite drunk. In detail, he forgets the month on his diary, he’s under the impression Australia doesn’t have any industry and he thinks we ‘bread castles’ whatever that means.

Finally, a return to normal when he finds an excellent model train to add to his collection back home in Japan. Strangely, however, he seems afraid of it.

26th January

Australian’s national day.

I saw many bintage car, classical car on the Macquarie street.

Morris. Humber. There is nothing. Triumph don’t make a cars now. Just motor sycle.

I could see Japanese cars. ISUZU. DATSUN. ISUZU is specially of trucks, doesn’t make sedans, cupe in now. When was start of motorization in Australia?

27

Rest of stay is less.

Australia is not richer country but walthly.

Australia is self-supporting. It is different from Japan, here is many parks in every twon. It’s beautiful and widder. Bigger.

And castle breading* is too strong. Japan can’t win to Australia, NZ.

Not industrial country.

But walthly.

28th January

I bought Rail model made by Lilipup. Maybe it was made in England.

English model company.

It cost is $45

I think this model isn’t made. Went out of print (make)

It but my bought thing is second hand. Used train model. I afraid it.

* To be fair, I think Mamoru is trying to explain Australia’s ‘cattle breeding’ industry here.

The emotional rollercoaster of Mamoru (22/1/12 – 25/1/12)

The good news: Mamoru is feeling better today after a spleen-vent in his last entry. What caused this change of mood? Food of course! And what kind of food has he found? Very good question. He tells me he discovered this rare eastern delicacy in a Chinese food court in Strathfield. Don’t ask me what he was doing there. He doesn’t live even close!

The bad news: the weather, and boy is it cheesing him off. All Mamoru wants is a bit of nice clear sky to look at the sea. This sends him into paroxysms of unintelligible gibberings that belie his true penmanship.

22th Jan 2012

I ate a ‘Chairman Mao grilled pork and rice’ for lunch.

Why did I eat? Because name was a little bit strange. I like the naming. It’s very good, but I don’t assist Mao and his politics, because

Many people were died by Mao.

23th January 2012

I thought I went to Manly beach after school.

I wanted to see South Pacific Ocean but today’s weather is crowedy and little windy. Sunny and sea are making a beautiful colers. It’s Blue. We say the ‘tropical blue.’ In Japan. I will see the tropical blue.

25th Jan 2012

When I’m finished course, so it was rainy.

This summer is rain more than usual summer.

Somebody says it.

It will be rain tomorrow.

I hope no rain.